You Can Make It Up: Jessica Alba Saves The Great White Sharks

Jessica Alba stood in a business plaza in downtown Chicago dressed in cargo pants and a bikini top holding a burlap sack. She wore a baseball hat pulled down low and sunglasses to be "incognito," which was a word she just looked up. It meant, well, to be honest she did not remember what it meant, but the point is that she was it. Incognito. Maybe later she would have her publicist blog about this on her MySpace page so that she could share her knowledge with her fans. Jessica Alba held up the burlap sack.

"GET IN HERE, SHARKS, I AM SAVE YOU!" she shouted.

A friend of hers took a photo of Jessica holding the sack out and shouting, and they glued a copy of that photo onto a baby's face.

"Get the word out there," Jessica Alba said to the mother of the baby. She raised her hands into the air in victory. "Victory!" she shouted in the mother's face. Jessica Alba giggled. Water poured out of her mouth. The mother turned to punch Jessica Alba in the face but Jessica Alba was gone. She was on an airplane.